Forgiveness

Dearest Ones,

While I was praying with a ninety-year old woman who was dying, she began talking about how mean some people had been toward her forty years ago and how she still resents them. I told her they probably have forgotten all about what they did and then she said, "That's what I'm afraid of." She died shortly after that. I don't know if she died before she forgave them. She suffered so much all her life because she couldn't forgive. She just couldn't "let go." I only hope she is now in Our Dear Lord's arms and surely He knows more than I how much she must have struggled.

Do you know someone who was killed by a drunken driver? An eastern newspaper once carried the story about a couple from Kentucky whose only son was killed by a drunken driver. For two years the parents dedicated their lives to punishing the drunken driver who had killed their only child. Driven by hatred, they attended his every court appearance, followed him to the county jail to make sure he was serving his weekend sentence and watched his apartment to try to catch him violating his probation. They freely admitted they wanted him dead.

One day the realization came to them that the hate and bitterness they were feeling was destroying them. Twice a week, they still see this man, but now they pick him up and take him to church with them. They often set a place for him at their dinner table. They realized that forgiveness was the only way they were going to save themselves.

Life is hard. All of us been taken advantage of and we know how much this hurts. Our Blessed Lord says we can't be a Christian unless we forgive. We want to get our pound of flesh - so we tell others how badly we've been treated. True, it's good to talk about things, but if it doesn't help us to get beyond it, it isn't doing any good. We are not to cherish a grudge. To cherish means to hold onto with all our strength with the idea never to let it go - like we would a valued possession.

We sometimes cling to our grudges with the idea that no one else can touch them. They're our trophies! They're mine! We nurse them - we might even get a "high" from talking about them. How do we do this? We play the tape of what happened over and over and over again in our mind - or keep telling it to others over and over so we won't forget any detail. If we stop, we go back and play it over. We relive the hurt - in our mind we condemn those who hurt us. Some go to the point of wishing evil to those who hurt them. Resentments can destroy our spiritual life...depending on how many resentments we carry and how deep they are. Some go to the extreme of making past hurts "idols" or false gods. They nourish them as one who plants in a garden - they want them to grow. But we are called to "let them go."

The good news is that God can free us from this grudge - it doesn't mean we will forget it - that's impossible. Some people make the mistake of thinking that if they remember the hurt, they haven't forgiven. Wrong! Forgiveness is not about forgetting. God can take away the suffering0 caused by unforgiveness. The world lives by retaliation - get even, no matter what. We may hear from our friends, "You don't have to take that!" But in the eyes of God, the wisdom of this world is foolishness. Our Lord even takes us further than forgiving - to actually loving our enemies. Instead of "pay-back", the Gospel teaches mercy. At the heart of forgiveness is not to seek retaliation or getting even.

Forgiveness is more than staying away from those who hurt us - it calls us to love our enemies. We're called to be children of our heavenly Father. We are inspired to do this because Jesus did it. He carried that heavy cross they put on Him, He endured their mocking, jerking Him, laughing at Him, torturing Him, and still He died that those hurting Him might spend eternity in heaven. Jesus tells us to pray for those who persecute us. If you can't make yourself pray for them, then pray for the desire to pray for them. God will help you, through His Holy Spirit. He knows we can't do it alone. We can get beyond loving only those who love us only if we ask for God's help. Children need to see their parents down on their knees forgiving and praying for those who hurt them.

Many people don't forgive because they don't "feel" like it. God said nothing about feelings - feelings will always be there to prevent us from doing good. If we wait until we feel like doing good, we might not ever do good. To do good when we don't feel like it is to be like God. To forgive may be the greatest act you can do for yourself! Pray for the ability to love as God loves us. God will give you the power - ask and you will receive.

Don't let resentment eat you up and destroy your life - you're too beautiful for that. You punish yourself if you don't let it go. Unforgiveness is like taking poison - it only hurts you - not anyone else.

Prayer: "Dear Jesus, forgiveness is how I show my love for you in return for the unending love you give me."

Just a reminder:
All who have reached age 14 are to abstain from eating meat on Ash Wednesday and on all Fridays of Lent.
Those between the ages of 18 and 59 are to fast on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday.
This means one full meal is allowed and eating between meals is not permitted, although liquids are allowed.
These regulations are so small in comparison with all the suffering Jesus went through for us. I'm sure many of you are planning on doing something hard for Lent
in order to keep close to Jesus - He will reward you tremendously!

All my love and prayers,
Sister Francelle