Saint Margaret of Castello, Italy May 4

Dearest Ones,

Did you ever find yourself blaming your parents for the way your life turned out? Saint Margaret lived in Italy in the 13th century. Her parents were rich and lived in a castle. When the parents of Margaret of Castello learned they were going to have a child, they were delighted. Like most parents, they had dreams of what a beautiful, intelligent child they would have. Instead, Margaret was blind, dwarfed, hunchbacked and permanently lame. After seeing her, her parents were so ashamed, they kept her locked in an upstairs room with a nurse until the age of five.

After that, with the permission of the priest, they built a room onto the church and left her there in the care of the priest until the age of 15. The priest was very kind and carrying the child on his back, he often went for long walks in the woods. He taught her the 150 psalms which he had memorized. She received her First Holy Communion and was a very happy little girl. At the age of 15, her parents took her to a healer, a woman who had healed many people of their illnesses. However, when she was not healed, her parents were so disappointed they went home without telling her and just left her there without a home. She became a street person, like many others in the area. The street people loved and protected her. She was so full of joy and love and never blamed her parents for leaving her. She said she was only sorry she was such a great disappointment to them. Margaret taught the street people about God and even helped them to learn the psalms. Eventually she was taken in by various poor families where she finally found the love and acceptance her parents could not give her.

Research tells us that the average person is forty years of age before fully forgiving their parents. Sad to say, many never forgive them. Most of us don't come from a family quite as dysfunctional as was Saint Margaret's, but few of us come from perfect families. Most are somewhat dysfunctional. We all bear scars from the things our parents did - or didn't do - as we were growing up.

I think most parents try to do the right thing, but they have to learn how to be parents. It doesn't come naturally. It's really not fair to judge them, especially since every child has different needs. Some parents are too strict, some not strict enough. We, ourselves, are responsible for how we turn out because we all have a free will.

The responsibility of rearing good, kind, grateful children, is the biggest job anyone can have. You have to take a leap of faith and ask lots of people for their help and guidance. God is really in charge of your children, parents just work for Him.

Blaming our parents for the way our lives turned out is childish and immature. It stops our spiritual growth. Eventually we have to face the fact that we are no longer children. If we are to become healthy adults then we must be willing to let go of the past and be willing to forgive our parents for everything they did - or didn't do. I pray that I will remember the good things my parents did instead of the not-so-good things. I may not like everything my parents did but I must forgive them.

If you have trouble forgiving, you may want to pray to the loveable and forgiving Saint Margaret, whose death anniversary is April 13.

With all my love and prayers,
Sister Francelle